Collaborative Divorce Practice | Mediation 2017-07-03T11:37:22+00:00

Collaborative Practice for Divorce

This site is about Collaborative Practice as an internal and external process, for the spouses and for the family of divorce.

Conflict Resolution is a process, not a destination. It involves both the external discussions and negotiations between spouses, as well as the internal shifts within each person as they absorb, adapt, adjust to the powerful emotions and changing circumstances of couple and family life. This is a blog about moving through the process, from both the personal and the professional perspective.

Collaborative Practice | Mediation

Closing Ceremonies

February 16th, 2012|

As a species, humans seem to be drawn to ritual and to the structure of ceremonies that mark significant occasions/rites of passage in a life. Marriages involve ceremonies, some simple, some elaborate, some spiritual, some strictly to fulfill civil law. Divorce, on the other hand, rarely involves ritual or ceremony.

Helping Kids Move Through the Holidays

December 19th, 2011|

Even the most well-meaning divorced parents can find themselves looking for love during the holidays, love from their children, that is.... The holiday season implies, for all of us, warm, inviting gatherings of family from regions far and wide, everyone reuniting around lavish feasts and storytelling. For children from divorced

When Divorce Ends in Familicide

October 25th, 2011|

Divorce, as we do it in our society, goes to the heart of all losses, like death. Rarely, however, do we expect it to result in death. I have discussed the ways in which people move through the divorce process, move through change, the alteration and restructuring of family relationships,

How To Do the Holidays…..Better

November 27th, 2010|

One of the most difficult aspects of family transition comes when parents and children have to face separation at holiday times. The alternating year schedule that most divorce families know is a legally convenient solution to a profoundly painful problem: who gets the kids when? In my family, we too

Protecting Our Kids Through Divorce

November 8th, 2010|

Moving through divorce, when you’re a parent, involves moving through the swamp of emotions about the demise of the marriage and the potential damaging effects on our children. It is an triumph of will and courage when parents remember to keep their children’s needs front and center in the divorce

A Child’s Experience

October 20th, 2010|

Very young children exposed to traumatic experiences hold those memories in their bodies. Thus, a client’s 2 1/2 year-old daughter, now separated from her father through an embattled custody trial and reams of evidence of her behavioral changes in his company, is suddenly showing signs of more extreme separation anxiety

Emotion 2 Motion

The Movement of Divorce

September 1st, 2010|

A woman friend of mine is separating from her husband of many years, struggling with how to talk with the children and dealing with their reactions. Soulful and insightful, intuitive and deeply spiritual, my friend is trying to fashion a transition that is barely perceptible to the children. She and

What Is Hidden Is Revealed

August 23rd, 2010|

Today, a discussion about "transparency" in collaborative practice led to defining the term along a continuum of privacy vs. secrecy. How does one person's need for privacy during separation and disengagement mesh with the other person's concerns about secrecy, not knowing, withholding, feeling left in the dark? In everyday life,

Movement is in the Eye of the Beholder

June 22nd, 2010|

Movement occurs in space, and in time. It appears in small increments, in the small muscles of body and mind. Observing two dancers, marked by histories of abuse and psychological pain......they partner on the dance floor. Usually, each is awkward, disconnected from self and other, barely present. In partnership, there

Growth as internal movement

June 22nd, 2010|

I am considerably amazed at the amount of growth a person can achieve in a brief period of time. As parents, we watch our children accomplish this developmental task all the time. This movement, of self in pursuit of higher-order thinking, feeling, living, is one of those humbling parts of

Ribs and Breathing

December 18th, 2007|

In the many months since the last entry, my leg has recovered mobility, but there is clearly something affecting my lower back, still sending shots of nerve pain down the back side of the leg........sciatica?? That makes me feel OLD, some mornings like an ancient crone crawling out of bed,

Walking Wounded: Movement Restricted

May 14th, 2007|

It's been three months since my last entry. Five weeks of that time have been marked by my first "sports injury", to my right leg, and the preoccupation with pain, limited mobility and recovery. I am a living example of "bound flow", in effort-shape terms, cautious about each step, restricting