It’s been three months since my last entry. Five weeks of that time have been marked by my first “sports injury”, to my right leg, and the preoccupation with pain, limited mobility and recovery.
I am a living example of “bound flow”, in effort-shape terms, cautious about each step, restricting my range of motion deliberately so as to monitor and avoid pain.
It is fascinating how quickly one can become accustomed to limitation, as well as demoralized and depressed by it. To struggle to do activities of daily living, such as putting on a pair of socks because it’s excruciating to try to reach my foot, conjures up terrifying images of becoming aged and infirm. To lose my sense of bounce/boyancy feels like a loss of vitality……though I’ve discovered tht I can put bounce into other parts of my body, such as when standing and listening to Wild Asparagus and Nightingale join musical forces. I couldn’t help but tap my feet, sway, and then move wildly from the waist up, anything to get that rhythm into my body and out of every chakra! Still, every step is a reminder of internal connectors, nerves sending nasty messages, muscles taut as a rubberband. My desire to bound into springtime is eclipsed by the near-obsession with bypassing bursts of electrical signals from my brain to my foot.
All of this has hampered my ability to think and talk about movement, as well as to move. Somehow, without access to my core, to the stabilizing, grounding, centering functions of my legs and pelvis, I can’t even access my own vocabulary about moving without feeling stilted, awkward, broken, choppy and out of flow.
The work moves forward nonetheless, creating movement workshops and experiences for tentative audiences who’d probably prefer to remain safely secured behind desks in offices. A website is in it’s infancy, developing with the help of a graphic artist who gets the notion of motion……..and so this post is a part of the process, and a reconnection with the challenge of finding words that describe moving and motion that can be articulated.