Collaborative Practice for Divorce

This site is about Collaborative Practice as an internal and external process, for the spouses and for the family of divorce.

Conflict Resolution is a process, not a destination. It involves both the external discussions and negotiations between spouses, as well as the internal shifts within each person as they absorb, adapt, adjust to the powerful emotions and changing circumstances of couple and family life. This is a blog about moving through the process, from both the personal and the professional perspective.

Collaborative Practice | Mediation

Shared Weight

March 28th, 2017|

Parenting requires shared weight too, the weight of responsibility, whether it's running errands, covering for the other parent while they attend to something else imperative, the share of an agreement or an exchange. The most wonderful parenting moments occur when you can feel at ease in the shared aspect of the role, when you know the other parent can be relied upon, counted on to bear an equitable share of the weight of the task.

Another Adventure in Post-Divorce Parenting

September 2nd, 2014|

Once again, we found ourselves at Terminal 4, in the evening hustle and bustle of international departures at JFK. Another year, and another trip our daughter was taking to study abroad, this time heading into a war-torn conflict zone. We began with a farewell dinner together, the three of us

Following Rupture With Repair

September 13th, 2012|

Moving from one mindset to an alternate mindset isn't easy, even with Zen guidance or years of psychotherapy in your repertoire. It involves shifting awareness amidst the murky waters of emotion, and often doesn't happen as fluidly as we imagine it will. I spend a lot of time talking with

Closing Ceremonies

February 16th, 2012|

As a species, humans seem to be drawn to ritual and to the structure of ceremonies that mark significant occasions/rites of passage in a life. Marriages involve ceremonies, some simple, some elaborate, some spiritual, some strictly to fulfill civil law. Divorce, on the other hand, rarely involves ritual or ceremony.

Emotion 2 Motion

Shared Weight

March 28th, 2017|

Parenting requires shared weight too, the weight of responsibility, whether it's running errands, covering for the other parent while they attend to something else imperative, the share of an agreement or an exchange. The most wonderful parenting moments occur when you can feel at ease in the shared aspect of the role, when you know the other parent can be relied upon, counted on to bear an equitable share of the weight of the task.

Following Rupture With Repair

September 13th, 2012|

Moving from one mindset to an alternate mindset isn't easy, even with Zen guidance or years of psychotherapy in your repertoire. It involves shifting awareness amidst the murky waters of emotion, and often doesn't happen as fluidly as we imagine it will. I spend a lot of time talking with

The Body Knows Trauma

October 1st, 2010|

Long before we can speak, we are observers, receivers of the movements and intentions of others. Though unable to express ourselves in words, we still codify our experiences and have the capacity to recollect them vividly, all the more so once language develops. A client helps me to remember that

The Movement of Divorce

September 1st, 2010|

A woman friend of mine is separating from her husband of many years, struggling with how to talk with the children and dealing with their reactions. Soulful and insightful, intuitive and deeply spiritual, my friend is trying to fashion a transition that is barely perceptible to the children. She and

What Is Hidden Is Revealed

August 23rd, 2010|

Today, a discussion about "transparency" in collaborative practice led to defining the term along a continuum of privacy vs. secrecy. How does one person's need for privacy during separation and disengagement mesh with the other person's concerns about secrecy, not knowing, withholding, feeling left in the dark? In everyday life,

Movement is in the Eye of the Beholder

June 22nd, 2010|

Movement occurs in space, and in time. It appears in small increments, in the small muscles of body and mind. Observing two dancers, marked by histories of abuse and psychological pain......they partner on the dance floor. Usually, each is awkward, disconnected from self and other, barely present. In partnership, there